How can people avoid causing stress for their provider if they don’t know what stresses them out? These pet peeves of home daycare providers may seem obvious to providers but they aren’t to everyone. That’s why I made this list of ten common pet peeves of home daycare providers.
Running a daycare in your home has a whole unique set of challenges. While it’s a rewarding career for most, just like any job there are a few things that can drive a daycare provider crazy or push them to get burnt out. Below you will find ten common pet peeves that I frequently hear other providers complaining about. I’m sure there are more, or maybe some of these don’t bother you, but these 10 are the most frequently listed pet peeves of home daycare providers.
When I talk about pet peeves I mean the smaller things that may annoy a provider. These are not the issues that they would terminate for, like bringing sick kids or not paying on time. Generally, these aren’t issues that providers will have clauses for in their contracts and some may not even discuss it with a client. Unless it becomes habitual and a major problem.
A word to parents: Please know I’m not saying *you* specifically do these things. If you are reading this then I’m guessing you care about the relationship with your provider and respect what they do for your child. Unfortunately, not all clients respect their providers. If you’ve done these things once or twice, don’t stress. This list is of pet peeves is more about repeat offenders. Once or twice is understandable, no one is perfect.
10 Pet Peeves of Home Daycare Providers
(in no particular order)
10. Letting children run through non-daycare areas.
Yes, choosing to be a daycare provider does mean that a provider is opening her home to the families she provides care for. This, however, doesn’t mean that the provider’s whole house is at the client’s disposal at any time. Letting children run off down hallways and/or into personal living areas not used by the daycare is not acceptable and frustrates daycare providers. A provider has already given up a huge chunk of their home and privacy to her clients. Letting your children run off into the other areas without saying anything is invading that last bit of privacy a provider has in their own home. It also undermines her authority with the children.
9. Asking a provider to lie on assistance or reimbursement forms.
Some parents get assistance in the form of reimbursement for childcare fees from their employer or other assistance programs. These programs are great for parents and providers. But please do not ask your provider to lie about how much you pay or how many hours your child attended. It’s fraud and illegal. Plus most of these programs require your provider’s EIN or SSN number and they report that income to the IRS as well. So if you tell them your provider charged you $1000/mo but your provider only claimed $500/mo which can create a huge financial liability for the provider. A liability that will affect you and the provider if she gets audited by the IRS. Please don’t ask your provider to put themselves in this position.
8. Not sending appropriate clothing.
When a child doesn’t have appropriate clothing or shoes it can make a provider’s job more difficult. It also affects the rest of the kids in her care. If it’s cold out and you send your child in shorts and a t-shirt with no coat then all the kids will have to stay inside. Most states require your provider to provide outside time. Plus kids need that gross motor time so it’s not something providers like to cut from their day. Clothing that is too big or too small makes it hard for the child to participate in everyday activities. This can upset the child and make them unhappy. Leave an extra set of seasonally appropriate clothing at your provider’s house in case you’re having a hectic morning or your child isn’t cooperating with your clothing picks.
Related: 10 Things Parents Should Expect from a Daycare Provider
7. Being told a child will be picked up early but a parent doesn’t show up.
Providers stick to their word about schedules and want parents to do the same. If a parent tells a provider they will pick their child up early then a provider expects them to do it. Especially if the child is usually the last one to be picked up. Schedule changes can affect her whole schedule for that day. Plus it’s possible that she may make plans for her family based on the verbal commitment to pick up early you made. If you don’t communicate with her that things have changed then it will make your provider and child upset. She’ll have changed her schedule and gotten your child ready to go only to have you not arrive at the time you said. That leaves her to deal with the fallout of an upset child and the effects changing her schedule has on the other kids.
6. Children arriving with overnight diapers on.
We all know how hectic mornings can be but please find two minutes to change your child before they arrive. Most providers assume (some even have policies) that children will arrive with clean diapers and don’t immediately change them. This means that if your child is still wearing their overnight diaper then the likelihood of a diaper leak is high. It also increases your child’s chances of diaper rash and infections. Plus, let’s be honest, it’s pretty gross to have a child arrive at 8:00 am in a soaked diaper that happens to be the same diaper they were put in twelve hours before.
5. Texts/calls during vacation and days off.
Due to the nature of this business parents can sometimes feel that they have a personal relationship with their provider, not a business relationship. This belief leads many to think the normal rules of a business relationship do not apply. A provider doesn’t want to get texts or calls from parents wondering about their diaper supply is or asking where a child’s shoes are when she is trying to enjoy her vacation. Prodivers work 10+ hours and their home is open to you 5 days a week. Please save your questions for when she returns and let her enjoy her family time.
4. Clients that complain about fees and then flaunt extravagant purchases.
Although childcare is not a glamorous job for most people it is a necessary and vital service. Clients that continually complain about a provider’s fees, or constantly try to get out of paying them, only to turns around and flaunts extravagant purchases are upsetting to providers. It makes the provider feel like she isn’t respected for what she is doing or the care provided.
Spend your money however you want, but leave your provider out of it and don’t complain about her fees. You picked that provider for a reason if you’re not happy then move on. Certainly, don’t make your provider feel like she’s taking you to the cleaners and then brag about excessive purchases.
3. When parents say a child has a food allergy but then feed the restricted food to the child.
Providers have no problem avoiding foods for kids with allergies. It’s part of the job and keeping kids safe. Nothing is more frustrating than having a parent tell you a child is allergic to something and then you find out that they aren’t. Allergies and medical issues are taken very seriously by providers. Many spend more money on alternatives and ban certain foods entirely from their homes. So when a parent says their child has an allergy and then disregards that claim it makes the provider skeptical of anything they say. If it’s a personal preference, not a confirmed medical issue or allergy, then please be honest with your provider. Communication and trust are key to a successful parent/provider relationship.
Related: 8 Truths about Home Daycare from a Provider
2. Kids regularly in care open to close when parents are off.
This irks so many childcare providers and I hear this complaint so often. I’m not talking about kids that sometimes come when a parent is off. Kids whose parents occasionally need to study, run errands, have appointments, or just need a day to recharge are different. It’s the kids that are dropped off from open to close, when parents are off, several times a week or month.
Providers choose to work with kids for a very specific reason. They want to be with their children so much that they picked a career that allows them to have their kids at work with them. That nurturing characteristic makes it hard for many providers to understand why these kids are at daycare when mom or dad has a chance to be with them. That’s why it bothers so many providers in my opinion.
1. Lingering at pick up for long periods of time.
This is one of those pet peeves that tends to upset parents when they hear it. They think it means that their provider doesn’t like them. The truth is it has nothing to do with the parent and/or how the provider feels about them. I love my daycare parents and wouldn’t trade any of them but 9 times out of 10 I don’t have time to chat for long periods of time.
A quick conversation? Sure! No problem. All parents get a rundown of how their child was and what we did that day. But beyond that, I don’t have a lot of time, especially if I still have other kids in care. The last hour or so of the day can be hectic. Providers are trying to get kids ready to go, clean up, and make sure everyone has all their stuff together. Even when the last child is picked up a provider still has her own family to deal with. There’s dinner to get started, leftover daycare cleaning to do, and much more. The truth is that a provider’s day isn’t over simply because children have been picked up.
Are you a childcare provider?
What would you add to the list of pet peeves of home daycare providers?
Have something that drives you crazy I didn’t mention? Leave us a comment below!
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#7 and #2 !!!! I have a great group of kids right now but I’ve had the ‘My husband will pick my daughter up at 2pm’ and I will wake the girl up, clean her up .. only to have mom pick her up at 5!
I’m with you Aimee. #’s 2 and 7 are my pet peeves. And I find school teachers are the worst with #2!
Very diplomatically stated. I agree with all of these points. When these type of issues arise, it does show a lack of respect for the person that has been chosen to care, nurture, and educate your child while you are unable to.
I agree with all of them. I would add when parents drop their kids of sick and say oh so&so is sick and had goopY eyes this morning, etc. If they know their kids are coming down with something then it’s best for everyone e if the little stays home.
i would disagree with this statement as would a lot of daycare providers that have been in the business for a while. Most cold/ illness… children are passing around days before symptoms occur, so chances are, if your child wakes up with a running nose and eye boogies… he’s/she’s already been exposing children at daycare for days and there is no point in isolating them at home. I keep a humidifier running round the clock in my home/care center during the winter and although children do get sick, they aren’t sick for very long. Daycare providers who send their child home because of a cold or eye boogies… I feel are being lazy. Colds are a fact of life and children can get up to 12 a year. These parents are paying you to watch their kids because they have to work to pay the bills. You’re not a convenience to them. You are a necessity. They are paying YOU.
I’d love you address so next time one of the kids I keep on the regular shows up with full blown snotty cold I can drop them off at your house so they can leave snot all over your couch and your floors and your pillows and every surface of your home…all the while feeling miserable and just needing their PARENT right now because they SICK give me an effing break. Just because a child isn’t “contagious” doesn’t mean they don’t need to stay home. A sick child needs to be with a parent or close loved one. I am not a an effing necessity to them. WTF is wrong with you?? twenty some dollars a day is not worth wiping buckets of snot all day. if your boss tripled your work but didn’t triple your pay would be happy? I don’t get paid extra to wipe snot all day and clean every surface of my home multiple times. i guess you never thought about it from anyones perspective other than your own though. cause clearly people you give money to are just “necessities” and not people after all.
Parents dropping off their child who was running a fever at home, giving them fever reducing medicine to cover it up. and bringing their child not saying a word until you call to tell them their child is running a 104 temp and they mention Oh yeah, they had a fever last night–we thought it was teething!
*Monday morning drop off and parent says their child has been sick all weekend ( puking, snotting, coughing, fever) . In the same breath but, they aren’t sick. 15 mins. Later puking, blowout diaper, low grade fever. Call parent and your told I can’t pick up my kid, I have no one to watch my child, I don’t have a back up. Can you take my child to the Dr. for me?
*Child comes into daycare visible reaction to something (hives, itching, hard time breathing lethargic ). Parent a nurse says he’s fine I gave him something for it. Ok? How long ago did you give it to him? An hour ago. He is clearly having issues breathing. I will make him a Dr. appt after work.. “No” please take him in.. I will have my mom come get him. In a few. No grandma. Call parent child is having a harder time breathing. I can’t leave work. Take him to the hospital. ( Yes, this happened). Had my backup provider come in took child in as he is not ok with strangers. Held this poor baby well they poke and prodded him. 🙁 He was having a reaction to meds his mom was giving him. Later had to turn his mom in for child abuse and neglect . Found out she was also doing drugs.. Kids were taken away for a short time.
Wow! What a stressful fiasco that must have been for you 🙁 Glad you were looking out for the child!
Having to chase after payments! I’m sure they don’t have to beg their boss for their paycheck.
I had someone like that… he was late every single week for 3 months. Had $75 just in late charges…. needless to say, those late charges didn’t cover the expenses I had in late charges from my bills not being paid on time.
Some parents seem to think that just because we are a home daycare, they can treat us smaller than a regular daycare.
When I conduct an interview for a new child I clearly state that late payments are not acceptable. In the application packet I again state that late payments are not acceptable and for the parent to please not ask. Don’t you know someone always will. After 24 years in business I say NO. I don’t allow the child back on Monday until tuition and late fees are paid. My bills are set up on a schedule to be paid, so pay me on time. Can you imagine if one of my parents bosses said to them on payday, sorry, I just don’t have the money to pay you this week. Ah, how fast would they be looking for a new job???
Number 4 is my biggest problem right now! I have parents who say “Oh I’m $20 short this week, can we add it to next week’s bill?” when they’re already hardly paying $100 per week and then Monday they come in telling me about their wonderful date night or how they got a new $2000 dog or how she “only” spent $120 on this new dress. An additional pet peeve, POTTY TRAINING DENIAL! I have a 4 year old girl who pees her pants every hour (we’ve taken her to the bathroom every 10 minutes, we’ve limited her fluid intake, etc and she will hold enough to pee herself in the playroom) So I spend 90% of my day sanitizing the toys and floors and washing her pee-clothes and her parents refuse to take her to a doctor and have told me no diapers or pull ups because they think that will make it worse. 4 months of this and she has not improved on the potty training front. It’s getting to the point I’m going to have to remove her from daycare or put a pullup on her without mom and dads permission! And I’ve seen several parents who either refuse to potty train when the child is obviously ready or try to potty train when the child is nowhere near ready. We have other kids to care for and more things to do than clean up pee all day because mom and dad aren’t on the same page!
Dissolve services and let them know why! If it affects the whole daycare its time to cut them loose!
I’m having problems with getting paid on time. What do others charge for late fee’s? I get really tired of getting paid one or two days late. I’m thinking of making a box ( like a card box like you would have at a wedding or graduation.) Hopefully this will remind people that it’s PAY DAY!!! What do you think?
Hi Jill! Your card box sounds like a good idea. I know several providers that put signs up on their front doors or on bulletin boards. I encourage my clients to set up auto pay with their bank so that the check is automatically cut and mailed to me at the beginning of the month. Late fees will depend on what your payment schedule is, whether you are paid weekly or monthly. I am paid monthly and have a $5 per day late fee that accrues until paid. I require late fees to be paid with the tuition, no adding it to next month’s bill. I gave clients until the 5th to pay, if payment is not received by the 7th I do not accept the child into care but late fees still accrue. I think my fees may be a bit on the low side, I know several providers that have $10-15/day late fees, but my clients have been with me for years and have been pretty reliable. Hope this helps!
#6 kills me, I have a couple of parents that do this daily and bring the child right in and plop them on my knee and my entire leg gets soaked…..come on folks
My daycare is tidy, well-organized and sanitary. Even when parents KNOW I have a rule about only eating at tables, J have parents who let their kids take leftovers from their lunch bags and eat at my front door.
I dislike parents coming before dropoff time. I’m supposed to stop brushing my teeth and come to the door because you arrived early and didn’t feel like sitting in your car with your kids?
Ditto. I had one parent dropping their child off at 10 minutes to 8. I need that time to just drink a sip of coffee and prepare for my day. Early drop-offs are as bad as late pick-ups.
Put it in your contract that you will charge for early drop offs or not open your doors. I have found in this business you need a strong back bone.
In my contract I am very strict about the hours. I contract families based on their hours needed and I calculate commute times. If they show up early or late they have to pay me extra. I give grace for traffic and stuff, but this cuts down on that kind of stuff.
#2. Drives me mad!!! I do NOT understand it! Why do parents bring their kids to daycare when they are off!? I never did this when I worked with my first. Vacations, holidays, I was so ECSTATIC to have off and spend the day with my child. I might quit a parent over this actually. It gets on my nerves that bad. Every holiday (minus the ones I close for) and most her vacation days…she drops her kid off crack of dawn and picks up at 5. Why can’t I get a break!? Your child isn’t that bad. Why did you have her?? I find it wrong.
Another pet peeve…parents not notifying me that they are deathly ill and coming into my home and dropping their child off. I got the mother effin flu from a parent who didn’t have the decensy to tell me, “hey i have the flu, dropping _______ off, please sanitize the door knobs and her carseat handles after I drop off. Better yet, please meet me on your porch for exchange so I don’t bring my germs inside.” I got the flu a week later. She told on herself a couple months later when she forgot the time frames and mentioned she had the flu. I remember the times and dates, trust me. I remember how sick she looked, she just kept telling me it was a bad cold. I never had the flu before so I was very naive. Still burns me up.
Bottom line, as daycare providers, we have to be strong enough to quit families that just aren’t working for us. There are some amazing and respectful parents out there. We do NOT have to put up with this crap. Period. These bad parents will burn you out and it isn’t worth it.