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Parenting is hard.
Add to that having a job that requires non-traditional hours and it’s even harder. Working odd hours and 2nd or 3rd shifts means that the time you are available to your child is significantly reduced. It’s hard to connect with kids and spend quality time with them when you are working or sleeping during the hours people most commonly have time with their children.
Even though working odd hours will make things harder it doesn’t mean that it’s impossible to connect with your children. Below you’ll find tips to help you connect even with the physical distance your job (or your spouse’s job) may create.
My husband is a park ranger at one of the busiest parks in our state. Whenever someone hears that’s what he does they always says “oh wow! What a fun job!” and it really is, however there is a downside when you have a family. Think about it, when do most people want to go camping or hiking? Summer, weekends, and holidays, right? That means he and his co-workers have to work those days. They have to work evenings and weekends in the spring when camping season starts and they work well into the night in the summer months making sure campers are having fun and staying safe.
That means our family is affected by his work schedule and those odd hour shifts. Between his work hours and my daughter’s activity classes and preschool there are some days when he doesn’t see her for more than ten minutes, if at all. As a result we’ve had to adjust our routines and find ways for him to connect with her even with his odd work schedules.
Tips to Connect with Children When Working Odd Hours
- Call/Video Chat: Make time to call your child when you have a break at work. Are you working late and missing bedtime? Use your break to call and spend some time talking with your child about their day, sing them their favorite bedtime song, or even read them a bedtime story. Do you have to leave early or have a long commute? Call them before they head off to school while you’re on the road or taking a morning break. Having a hard time getting breaks at the right times? Work together with you co-workers. My husband and several of his co-workers set up a routine where they rotate their evening break times based on their child’s bedtime so that they are all able to call or video chat on nights when they work late.
- Journals: Create a special journal where your child can record things they want to be able to share with you (or your spouse) when you are together. Younger kids can draw pictures of activities they did or how they were feeling (the non-working parent or caregiver can write notes about the child’s journal entry if needed), while older kids can write notes and keep track of things they want to share. Then go over it with them when you are home. It’s a great way to connect while sharing in accomplishments and activities you may have missed.
- Leave Notes: Surprise your child with little notes here and there that remind them that you care and that you are thinking about about them. Leave notes for them in their lunchbox, dresser drawers, toy boxes and anywhere else you think they would find them. My husband leaves little notes with jokes for our daughter and some days he leaves several notes that lead her on a scavenger hunt to find a special drawing or picture he made for her. He’s even left special secret notes like these magic notes from Happily Ever Mom.
- Create your own moments regardless of the time. Bedtime has always been daddy time in our house. Dad does bath, story, and bedtime (of course mom joins in for hugs and kisses) with our daughter but when he’s working evenings and nights he misses these events. Instead of just not having these moments he makes them up when he can. He reads stories in the morning and tucks her in at nap time. It doesn’t matter when you do things, just that you find the time to do them. That one-on-one time is important.
- Share photos: Cell phones are amazing resources. Take pictures of things you are up to and ask your child (or caregiver) to send you pictures of that they are doing. This is a great way to open communication, ask open-ended questions about the photos and talk about why you or your child wanted to share that photo with the other person. Take pictures of things you do at work and ask your child to send you pictures of their artwork or of them doing activities (or have a caregiver send them). One of my daycare parents takes one of her daughter’s stuffed animals to work with her and then periodically sends photos of the toy doing mom’s job, like working on the computer or having lunch with co-workers. It’s like Flat Stanley with her favorite toy at mom’s work. Her daughter thinks it is the greatest thing ever.
- Make time together count: When you do have time with your children make it count. Make a routine for the time that you do have together and stick to it. I don’t mean you have to make every day special by going somewhere fun or buying them something extravagant but do make your interactions meaningful. Listen when they talk to you, get down on their level and do something they enjoy, have them help in the kitchen while you make a meal. Just little moments that give you the opportunity to talk, listen, and connect.
Use Technology! Try CloudPets™ to Connect with Kids When Working!
These snugly pets are a new and one-of-a-kind product that can help keep loved ones in touch when they can’t be together. We use ours as a fun way for my husband to connect with our daughter when he’s working. We just picked one out at Walmart, downloaded the app, and started sending messages!
We found our CloudPets™ in the front of our local Walmart store, near where they sell the “As Seen on TV” items, right now they are available in select Walmart stores but they will be available nationwide soon. My daughter picked the Walmart exclusive unicorn but you can also get a Puppy, Kitty, or Bear. Don’t forget to grab batteries, you’ll need three AA batteries to bring your CloudPets™ to life! It’s so simple to send and receive messages, Plus you can send lullabies too! Find compatible devices and how it works on their website.
My daughter loves to get messages from dad throughout the day via her unicorn. It’s easy for him to record a quick message and send it via the app. He can send a quick message even if he’s not on a lunch or break because it’s so quick to record and send.
When she receives a message from dad the little red heart on her unicorn lights up. She’s always excited to find a new message from dad, her favorites are his silly jokes, and can’t wait to send one back to him.
We’ve also added grandma and grandpa that live out of town so they can send messages too! There are parental controls that allow me to monitor the messages and approve who can send her messages so there’s no chance of someone we don’t know getting messages through.
These are all great tips for staying connected with your kids even when working odd hours. I know quite a few people who could benefit from these tips! [client]